"What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, everything on earth was subjected to God's curse. All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."
Romans 8:18-25 NLT
The above verse gives me comfort. I know that although this journey that we are on is a very difficult one AND definitely not one that I would have chosen, that in the end the glory and joy will be so much greater than the pain we feel now. This does not mean that I am not angry, sad, and very upset with God. In fact, I spend most nights crying and begging with God to end my child's suffering. I do not understand why we have to see our beautiful, smart, loving, kind daughter suffer so much and die in so much pain. But I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my daughter as well as each one of us. I follow many other blogs written by parents of children with cancer and there are a few that express how they have given up on God. I completely and totally understand why they have done this. Seeing your child suffer in the ways that you have to when trying to save their life and then ultimately in the end as they die...well it just isn't right. It makes you question your faith and your devotion to the Lord. BUT as the bible says, 'train up a child in the way they should go and they will not part from it' (sorry that I don't know the verse for that...I am paraphrasing what I remember). I was brought up to believe in the Lord and His perfect ways...and as much as I would like to give into the anger and the bitterness I know that I cannot. I know in my heart that the Lord is righteous and that he has something better for my little one. I still do not understand but I am glad fthat William and I were brought up to believe in Jesus as our Savior because though it would be easier, in some ways, to turn our back on God, I know that in reality it is better to trust in him and take comfort from One whose peace passes all understanding. Thank you for your prayers.
You are certainly a blessing to many as you share your beautiful faith in our Lord. I'm praying you feel His love in a very special way during these difficult days. My heart aches for you and prayers are lifted for you.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you have written about Katie, I can tell she has a beautiful spirit. She will be glorious and beautiful in Heaven. I cannot imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye, but I am glad that you can find comfort in the Word. And I am glad that she knows the Lord and knows she will be with Him.
ReplyDeletePrayers and hopes for you Christa, William,Laura Beth and all your family and of course for precious Katie. I to do not completely understand the suffering people and especially little children have to go thru but in order to get thru it we must believe in God and his words. I feel that it is ok for you to be angry and just want to know why this had to happen to you child. I know the word of God will help all thru this but as a Mother and Father and all Relatives it is still WHY. I wish I had a message that could give all of you peace but all I can do is Pray and let you know that I hurt for all of you and will pray for you all long into the future.
ReplyDeletePrayers, Love and Email HUgs
Mona White
I pity anyone who goes through life without faith. It would be much harder in the long run to pull through your grief and face tomorrow without a Savior (and His loving Mother, I might add) to hold us in our sorrow and promise hope for eternity.
ReplyDeleteIn times like this you do question your faith and do get angry with God. You ask why and not knowing why is what makes you angry in one sense. In the end your faith comes through with you and you live with the comfort that one day you will have your answer. We forget as humans that we are not meant to have the answers to everything and that we must trust in what we believe in. I was very angry after my son died and it took a while before i moved away from the anger but with faith I have gotten through the roughest days. Many prayers and love to your family.
ReplyDeleteAmanda Douglas Hold
God will never leave or forsake you when your faith is in Him. He offers strength and comfort for your hurting hearts. I can only say I am sorry for the circumstances and offer prayers on your behalf. God Bless, Lois and Clyde
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely amazing Christa... your words totally touched everything i've been thinkin' this week- we don't understand everything and can't help from wonder WHY and I do believe that God knows this for he created us that way! What great raising yours and Williams parents have accomplished and how Awesome it is that the 2 of you found each other. This kind of heartache could definately test any marriage but the both of you having the same beliefs only makes your home stand on that solid foundation... which brings this song to mind~~ "Where do I go~ when there's noone else to turn to, who do I talk to~ when noone wants to listen, is there a refuge in this time of tribulation, I go to the stone I know is able.. I go to the rock... on Christ this solid rock i'll stand, when I need a shelter... when I need a friend... I go to the rock!" Christa sweet lil' Katie has just about completed her work here on this earth but just know YOU are still doing your work for the Lord with each of your blogs! <3 Casey,LVN
ReplyDeleteWe, too, are questioning (maybe on your behalf) why do you all and Katie have to go through this? I guess when we get to heaven we can ask God but I have an idea that we will be so amazed we will forget all our questions.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine what you are going through. I am also praying Katie will no longer suffer.
I cannot imagine God sending his only Son to die on the cross for me. I cannot imagine Christ willingly offering to leave His home in glory, being denied, beaten, and die a horrible death for me. So many have so much because of His suffering. I cannot explain why, but I think so many will have blessings, encouragement, strength and, yes, even some come to the saving knowledge of Christ through the testimony you and your family have presented during Katie's and your suffering. We love you and are asking God for His mercy and strength to be poured out on you.
Bro Don and Lorraine
Psalms 13 NLT
ReplyDeleteO Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, and with sorrow in my heart everyday? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "we have defeated him! Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love . I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.
I CANNOT start to imagine how hopeless you all must feel. And I so agree w/you in saying it's just not fair and it seems so cruel to watch a piece of your heart dying but in the chapter of Psalms David is crying out to God in despair and I think God understood (understands) his (and your) hopelessness feeling. And that's why we cry out to him and just when we think we can't take another moment He says, I am here and I'm walking this path w/you, you are not alone. Because true despair is a life w/o God and walking this journey alone. My prayer for you and your family is that you heart will mend and remember the angel that God gave you. She will sing w/joy again because then she will be singing w/Jesus. When/if you have a chance please youtube Jason Crabb, Heaven is sweeter with you there. I think it will give you a peaceful feeling if but for a moment. May God comfort sweet Katie until He takes her home. In Him~Tracie Warren
I don't know why God allows things to happen the way they do. I was young when my Mom died and I was angry and could not understand why he let her die. But, I knew what she had gone through ..so I knew she would be in a better place. And now I still don't understand and we have lost a grandson and a daughter on Mel's side. And still question..Why? But I know we are not to question but just to accept and know that someday we will see them again. I love Katie and its very hard for me to understand again. But I will just trust in the Lord for He knows his plans. I am praying and cherishing every moment that I have with her. I love you guys and your are always in my heart. You and William are a witness in the faith and strength you have shown. God Bless You and keep trusting in God for He has plans for the both of you. Love, Sharon
ReplyDeleteYour faith is amazing and you have ministered to me in so many ways you dont even know...thanks once again for your honesty and ministry through this blog. I agree with Casey fullheartely above.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your faith. Just remember that through all of this "for his mercy endureth for ever." - Psalm 136
ReplyDeleteI wish we could wrap our arms around you guys and take some of the anger, sorrow, not understanding, etc. away for you and put it all on us. Our prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Jerry and Linda Stott
At a bible study I asked if God loved us so much why is he making my relative suffer through the severe pain associated with her final days of battling cancer. He told me while he was at another bible study, the same question was asked and a doctor was present. The doctor explained that pain actually causes the body to pass sooner. He went on to explain he believed the pain is a way for God to expediate that persons entry into Heaven. I hope this helps a bit and our prayers are with you. God Bless.
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