Baby Thomas

Please be in prayer for my friend, Holly & her whole family. She gave birth to Baby Thomas yesterday and from what I have seen on Facebook, he is still hanging on. (For those who didn't see my earlier post about Holly & Baby Thomas...he has anecephaly which means that his brain did not develop correctly and he will died shortly after birth. He may live days, weeks, or months...) I know that Holly is physically and emotionally exhausted and could defiantly use your prayers. Please join me in prayer that she & her husband, Aaron, will be able to enjoy every single moment with their son. Also remember Baby Thomas' big brother and sister as well as the rest of their awesome family.

AMAZING

Today I met a little girl who reminded me so very much of my Katie. She looked nothing like her other than being so small for her age BUT boy she sounded like her. Her laugh is what took me in first. It was that same high pitched totally happy full body giggle. I hadn't even realized that I had forgotten it till I heard this beautiful angel. Her mannerisms and her stubbornness was like that of Katie. She was a very smart little girl despite her other problems. And she said many of the same things that Katie would have said and in the way Katie would have said them. What I found utterly AMAZING was that hearing this little angel and seeing my beautiful "first born baby" in her made me SMILE!!! I wasn't sad or upset BUT instead I was happy and so thankful that not only did I get to meet this little girl but I also got to hold her and hug her. Please pray for this little angel and her family as she does have physical limitations...it does not matter her name or condition...God knows them both and he has something wonderful in store for her!

Thank you Lord for release from my guilt and sadness over my precious baby and thank you Lord for releasing her from pain.

Time..

First I would like to apologize for not writing the past 2 months...my computer at home is broken and I have not had a moment to sit down at a computer and write...

For a while I have wanted to write a blog about being a mother with a heart in two places (one with Katie and one with Laura Beth)...but putting that into words is just too hard. I can say that God has done a miracle in my life. This past weekend I went on a church retreat called "Tres Dias". It was an amazing 3 days of laughter, tears, and hugs! At first I was very MAD to be there...I couldn't understand what was wrong until someone said, "well you must be mad because the Holy Spirit is trying to do something in your life and you are fighting it." I was fighting it....I was being stubborn and not giving up my pain....but God in his wonderful way got through to me...he broke through those walls and blew the lid right off the box that I had put Him in! I was able to let go of the guilt that has plagued me since Katie's death. Although there was absolutely no way I could have prevent her death I have felt guilty...I SHOULD have been able to do something...if I just hadn't scared her by picking her up that day then she would have lived longer or if I had chosen a different option instead of trying for the MIBG radiation then she would have lived...all of those things that really wouldn't have changed anything. God had her days numbered before she was born. She had accomplished her reason for being on earth and it was time for her to go HOME. But as a mother it was hard to let go of the guilt but praise be to God that I was able to.

I pray that as Easter is approaching that every one will take time to have fun with their children hunting eggs and that you will take time to thank our Risen Savior for everything he has done in your life and the sacrifice that He made to GIVE you life.