Thursday, July 1, 2010

Happiness in the midst of pain

"I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth! He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you and will not sleep. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never tires and never sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. "

Psalm 121 NLT


People have been commenting on William & my strength (both in person and here)...I know without God I would not be able to do this. The above verse states what holds us together. It is easy to sound strong when writing but all of you do not see what goes on behind closed doors. We, like all of you, cry & yell at God on a daily basis....what I hope that none of you ever have to face is the truth that though you cry and yell you HAVE to hold it together for your child. You have to give her peace that you will be okay when she is gone EVEN when you know that it isn't true....anyway on to daily life...

Katie had a pretty good day yesterday. She got to see her good friend Adrienne and that always makes her feel better. Then after a small meltdown we headed to Chuck-E-Cheese. Nana, Pop & Aunt Ashley have always been her Chuck-E-Cheese buddies but Katie had to have me there too. She doesn't want me to leave her even for a second these days. It makes my fight a little harder but it is also good to know that she finds comfort with me. Despite her fatigue and pain she had a good time at Chuck-E-Cheese. And after playing some and picking out prizes she was okay with me going into work. It was something I really needed....a couple of hours to NOT think about what is going on in my life. And my good friend, Tessa, was so very sweet to take me on a little shopping spree at Hobby Lobby and then out to our favorite resturant Pei Wei. It was something I needed. Katie and her daddy had a rough night...but they made up and all is well in our house again....well as well as it can be with your 'first born baby' dying.



Here are some pictures from our adventure with the mouse know as Chuck-E










10 comments:

  1. Christa, I love the pics from Chuck E. Cheese! Looks like Katie really had a great time, and so glad to hear that you got a "girls afternoon" with your friend. I'm sure you needed that!! I am praying that you all have a wonderful time in San Antonio this weekend and be sure to post lots of pictures! Praying the weather stays nice for you guys!

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  2. Continued prayers.

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  3. Connor came over to see what I was looking at. I showed him your pic on our blog, and said "Who's that?" He said "Christa" pretty loudly. Then I showed him these pics again, and told him "This is Miss Christa's little girl, Katie." He leaned into the screen and whispered "Katie" very softly over and over. Usually he just looks and moves on. It was very sweet.

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  4. Thanks for sharing. Katie is still beautiful and looks like she had a good time. Still praying for all of you. Hope you have a safe and happy trip to San Antonio.
    Much love,
    Lois Gray

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  5. Christa you and William would not be human if you did not yell and scream and cry and ask why. Your strenght shows in how you are holding it together for Katie and Laura Beth. I would be worried if you two did not have the human emotions that go along with this horrible experience. I still pray for a miracle. Oh My Gosh I see nothing but angle eyes in the close up of Katie. She is so precious and I can only imagine your pain. I am glad she had a good day yesterday and you got to go to work and have some time out. I Pray that you also have a good time in San Antonio and and great memories are made. You and William Just be yourself you do not have to be iron strong all of the time and know that God understands your question and emotions.
    Prayers, Love and Email Hugs
    Mona White

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  6. Love, Love, Love the smiles. You will cherish these photos forever. The last one in the ticket booth shows so much joy!

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  7. William will remember me as Angie Donaho. First time I've posted, but I've followed the story. I have a son and it makes me want hug him and never let go. I pray for good days for Katie, and strength for the Connor family.

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  8. My heart is breaking for your entire family! Oh how I would love to see a miracle or wake up and find this was a horrible nightmare! Your faith in the Lord is all that is holding you together besides the love for your child who is looking up to you to make sure yall will be "okay". I would so take the pain away if I could! Know that I am praying for you and that many hearts around you are broken for your family. I pray that you all have a wonderful time in San Antonio and that Katie feels great the entire time!
    Love and Prayers as always, Ms. Julie.

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  9. Yep Katie and her Auntie Ashley have a special bond that shows through in these pictures. Both Katie and Ashley and Nana and Pop all had a wonderful day at Chuckie Cheeses.

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  10. I cant sleep tonight so I am praying for your family.Thank you for the pics they are beautiful!
    Angela Culbreth, madisonville

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