Monday, August 1, 2011
Aug 5, 2011
August 5, 2011 makes one year since I watched my precious "first born baby" leave this earth....Holding her as she took her last breath & stepped into heaven...It was a day that forever changed my life. To say that this last year has been hard would be an understatement BUT the pain has been ALL ours & for that I am very thankful. You see...while Katie was here on earth the pain was hers to bear. Oh yes, I had pain too. I am her mother & seeing her hurt was HORRIBLE in ways that you cannot imagine. But the pain from the cancer itself, from the chemo & radiation aimed to kill the cancer, & from all the needles...all of that pain was her's...some of which I had to inflict on her. You do not know the strength you have until you HAVE to give your child a shot or change her central line dressing (pulling it off HURTS) or make her drink horrible tasting medicine that she begs you not to give her. It is a strength that you do not want to know that you possess. All of this pain was hers....and this past year she has HAD no pain. She is in Heaven & knows only joy. Of this I am positive. Many people may think that they do not know how we do it...going through cancer with our child & then having her die. I can tell you exactly how we do it...WE DON'T but GOD DOES. We could not have made it through this past couple of years without HIM. I can honestly say that I do not understand His plan but I do trust His plan. This past year we have thought of Katie EVERY single day. You may think that is a generalization or being dramatic but it is a true statement. Honestly, do you think of your children every day? Well so do we. I see her often in the world around me...and I hear her often in her sister. Laura Beth is a precious gift...one that keeps us laughing & smiling. We could not have made it through this past year without her precious smile. But...she often laughs like Katie or says things like Katie. And she often talks about Katie...when anyone is sick she will say, "Sick like Katie?" Sometimes these likenesses make me laugh & sometimes they make me cry. Laura Beth always says "I miss Katie" or "I love Katie" when she sees me crying...even at 3 years old she knows how much her big sister meant to me. Thank you all for your love & care for us over the past 3 years....
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LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteChrista you still have God's strenght and only the love he gives. You are the one that showed me strength and how to be who you are. You were not afraid to show all sides of you and for that I am thankful to have been a part of your life even if we have never met in person. You gave all of us strength and bless you for that. Your little Laura Beth is a blessing and God knows it. Stay strong in God.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Love and Email Hugs
Mona White
Your family had been in my thoughts and prayers a lot this week! Thank-you for being an inspiration to me!
ReplyDeleteWilliam, Christa and Laura Beth,
ReplyDeleteI too think of Katie all the time. I always ask Bertha how you three are doing. This week you three have been in my prayers more so than the other weeks this year. I pray for ya'll everyday. You have been an inspiration to a lot of people and you will continue to be in my prayers. Hope to see you all soon when we come for a visit. We love you all!
Karen Hammock
Conroe, TX
This has been a difficult day for all of us, but I have had you, WIlliam and Laura Beth in my prayers and thoughts all day. I am so proud of the strong woman my first born daughter has become. Love you sunshine. Mom
ReplyDeleteI believe heaven has a very special place for those who have put up such courageous battles. Katie's efforts in her fight are very similar to how God died for us. He died to save us from our sins. Katie's fight and eventual passing (as well as that of many others) is a huge wake up call for a need to reverse the sinful behaviors we've adopted that have intoxicated our earth, water supply, even the food we eat. It's to the point where our own people can't live on it without their bodies giving up. Some people believe in order to succeed, you have to grow old, go to college, get a high-paying job, get married, and have 2.5 kids and buy a picket fence-surrounded home. Some of these people stuck in that cookie cutter mindset never manage to achieve what Katie did in her few years of fighting. It's what you do in life that matters, not how many years you spent on earth.
ReplyDeleteWith that, I wish you warm wishes and comfort as you live every day without Katie. She is watching over you and you will see her again. :-)